"Why do they wear bulletproof vests? I suppose it's because of the combat nature of our neighborhood."
-My Mom, in reference to the bulletproof-vest clad policewoman directing traffic at the Children's fair about a block from our house. She saw our favorite policewoman, Officer P., who was once sued for using excessive force while giving a Winnetka woman a driving citation of some sort (legend has it she slammed her down onto the ground and broke a tooth). Officer P. was actually my DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) teacher in 6th grade and used to sport an amazing mullet, which was recently chopped off in favor of a crew cut.
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